That first look of love.

After all of that work to give birth, be it naturally, assisted or c-section, all mothers are given their child and are supposed to have that overwhelming feeling of love right?

For me it was that perfect look of love in those deep blue eyes on my gorgeous blonde boy, I couldn't be happier or feel more complete. This was the little wriggler that had been in my womb for 9 months growing, being nourished and kept safe by my body. 

However this is not the case for some mothers, some don't have that feeling of love, some have and overwhelming sense of pressure to be the perfect mother, a feeling of sinking as you have never done this before, it is a new adventure and that is scary. But that is okay too.

In the hospital / midwife unit you have professional help on hand if needed, just at the press of a button, but there is no button at home. 

That first night we took our bundle home, I was sleep deprived for 24 hours (due to having regular check ups on myself for pre-eclampsia, and my son due to the cord being wrapped around his neck), I was lucky I had my mother and father there ready to take over so my husband and I could get some sleep. 

the second night however is a totally different story, on our own with a screaming baby and not knowing what he wants. So we tried feeding him, changing him, cuddling him...nothing worked. He just screamed and screamed until he gave in and slept. Tired, stressed, angry at one another, we fell asleep too. But this was only the beginning...