Is it all worth it?

Many many mums including myself wonder sometimes will all this be worth it?

The bad days for me are sometimes my darkest days, I have some temper issues that relate back to my childhood, but none of this I would dare take out on my child. My level of restraint has been double if not tripled, I have learnt to control my anger and to release it other ways e.g. painting, reading, going for a walk and even writing this blog. 

In my life I have had many ups and downs, all leading from bad friendships and relationships, I know this is why I have a rage inside of me that is ready to burst free at many given moments, but my son is keeping me controlled as my mind has learnt to release what is making me angry or frustrated and to put it away for later. But never too much later or I find myself letting it go on other people, my poor husband most of the time. 

But my little ray of light is always my son and my future family should I have any other children. I know that I need to be the best mother I can be and not to set the bar too high or I will end up failing and losing control or even myself along the way. 

Those big steel grey eyes that peer out of the pram/cot are all my mind needs to keep me sane, those little eyes that look at me with all the love in the world, that depend on me for everything, are all it takes to make me remember all the heartache, screaming sessions, tears and puke covered days are all worth it to see this little baby grow up to be a gentleman and to start his own family. 

I never thought I would be this lucky.